The Dad Blog

My son’s mom bought a house that is worth about $250,000 more than mine. She is married (We were never married) with two kids and I am married with two kids but we have a son toghether who is 14. I currently pay her support but I can’t even afford the house that she bought. She also bought a new truck and a fairly new lexus. This doesn’t seem right. It seems that she makes more money than me. My income is around $70,000 but I cannot afford a $500,000 house like hers (Now it is worth $750,000. We are having some problems with our visitation agreements (her fault) and I think we are probably going back to court. I think that she is living way beyond her means and I am not sure if the judge is going to make me pay more money. What if she still makes less than my income?

Please help.

I am in the same boat as you. I am going to try to take her back and have her “show cause.” I too am worried because I live in CA. and am paying below guidline. the currect agreement I am ramping up to guideline within two years. I am nearing the point that I can’t pay the amount now, about $400 below guideline, and fear that I will become a “dead-beat dad.” I think I have no choice but to fight.

If by support you mean alimony that should’ve ended when she was married. If it’s CS (Child Support) she should only be able to take you to court for an amount re-evaluation if there have been dramatic changes in your income. If you are alreadying paying the state calculated stadard amount for child support and you have had no income change, you won’t have to pay more. You will still have to pay support for the child regardless of how much money she or her husband makes because she retains custody. CS belongs to the kids, not the parents.

Find a local father’s advocacy group, they usually have affordable legal help and learn your rights. Don’t let her bully or intimidate you. Most of all, do not let her deny you visitation. Keep a detaled log of everything that happens, phone calls, e-mails, everything. Good Luck.

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