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Summary: False allegations of abuse of a child, particularly of sexual abuse, by one parent against the other, are an increasingly common weapon in the divorce and custody arsenal.
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False allegations of abuse of a child, particularly of sexual abuse, by one parent against the other, are an increasingly common weapon in the divorce and custody arsenal.
A false allegation is the perfect weapon. It is simple, fast, and guaranteed to achieve the desired result: the complete removal of the targeted parent from the child's and the accusing parent's life, along with a moral vindication or victory for the accusing parent.
Why Do People Make False Allegations of Abuse?
Many experts and family law practitioners believe that the increase in false allegations of abuse in the divorce and custody context are a direct result of the move to "no-fault" divorce.
Years ago one had to prove "fault" in order to get a divorce. In other words, one spouse had to prove that the other had either cheated on them, abandoned them, or was in some other way at fault for the breakdown of the marriage. This led to some rather contrived situations, with one spouse arranging for the other spouse to "find" them in a compromising situation, so that proof of "fault" could then be offered to the court.
Several states have since done away with this fault-based concept of divorce. Many believed this to be an advance that would lead to a kinder, gentler system of divorce.
Unfortunately, the advocates of no-fault divorce forgot to take one thing into account: human nature. For the most part, people want to be able to point the finger of blame. The fault-based system of divorce allowed the divorce-seeker their proverbial day in court, and an opportunity to prove to the world what a no good so-and-so their spouse was. It gave them a sense of vindication.
By contrast, the no-fault type system of divorce has no such element of good guy versus bad. In many states, one can get a divorce based on "irreconcilable differences". Other states have other, similarly innocuous grounds. There is no longer an opportunity for finger pointing and blame-laying. No longer a path to vindication.
Enter the false allegation of abuse. In one fell swoop the accusing spouse can go back to a fault-based system of divorce and achieve utter vindication. In one fell swoop they can get the targeted spouse completely out of their and the children's lives, and can ensure themselves complete custodial control. And, in one fell swoop they will completely destroy the other spouse's life, and any semblance of a normal relationship between the other spouse and their children.
As one victim of a false allegation of abuse describes: "It changed everything. My marriage was destroyed. I couldn't see my kids for three months until a psychological evaluation was done. Even after that I could see my kids for only one hour per week up at the courthouse while a probation officer remained nearby. It was totally devastating."
It is totally devestating. To the accused parent, and to their children. And for that reason, our next lessons will focus on the best ways to avoid false allegations of abuse, and what to do if you end up being targeted with one.
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Recommended reading (click on picture for more information):
[You are reading a lesson in the free online DadsRights.org lesson series,
Surviving Divorce. For the full series, free, sign up at SurviveDivorce@aweber.com]
