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Surviving Divorce, Lesson #9 - The Truth About False Allegations, Part 2: The Effect
By DadsRights.org
Feb 23, 2006, 11:47
The relationship between accused parent and child is often not the only relationship which will suffer. Many falsely accused parents find that the allegation not uncoincidentally occurs right around the time that they start dating someone, or they remarry.
Few relationships are able to withstand the doubt, confusion, legal battles, and expense, engendered by an allegation of abuse.
Business and employment relationships also suffer under the strain of a false allegation of abuse. Many parents lose their jobs after being accused of abusing their children.
Other consequences of the false allegation may, and often do, include loss of reputation, loss of one's standing in the community, and of course financial hemorrhage. The cost to defend a false allegation of abuse may run to the tens of thousands of dollars, particularly if there is a criminal charge involved.
Even for those who can financially afford to deal with a false allegation, the damage to one's reputation, both professionally and personally, can be immeasurable.
The parent targeted with a false allegation is truly a victim in every sense of the word. But the accused parent is not the only victim of the false allegation. For all the pain and devastation which is heaped upon the accused parent, there is often at least as much visited upon the children.
These children will find themselves suddenly ripped from their relationship with the accused parent as surely as if the parent had died; in some ways it is worse than if the parent had died. When a parent dies, a child can usually expect comfort and support from their remaining parent. However the child whose relationship with the targeted parent is destroyed by a false accusation usually finds that the remaining parent is most unsympathetic to the child's loss. After all, it is a loss which the remaining parent themselves orchestrated.
More insidious yet, the child who lives with a falsely accusing parent is often put in the position of having to pledge allegiance to the accusing parent, sometimes by denouncing, or even implicating, the accused parent. Some children will do this knowingly, but many are too young to even understand this game. Being trusting and malleable, as young children are, they will come to adopt the accusing parent's version of what allegedly occurred. In the child's mind, the accused parent becomes as guilty as if the abuse had actually happened.
Thus, not only has the false accusation created a victim of the targeted parent, but also it will often victimize the child as surely as if the alleged abuse had actually occurred. And the victimization doesn't stop there.
A child who is the alleged victim of a false claim of abuse will be subjected to a barrage of interrogations, and to all manner of humiliating examinations. Young girls are often made to endure painful intimate pelvic exams as doctors repeatedly look for evidence of the alleged abuse.
Given the magnitude of devastation which can occur, both for the accused parent and the children, in a false allegation scenario, why has so little been done to address the problem? That is what we will discuss in our next lesson.
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